The Never Ending Realm
Time Stalkers Review by Samuel Rivera
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There are some games that need to be reviewed in a certain way to make a point; this is one of them:

One Saturday I went to Electronics Boutique. I had 10 big ones, I didn't have money to buy Skies Of Arcadia so I bought Time Stalkers, saying to myself, "Time Stalkers can't be that bad, it is an RPG made by Sega. I've got nothing to lose."

(Later I would find that I was wrong, very wrong.)

I bought Time Stalkers and took it home and I started playing, not a minute went by before the horrible intro music broke into my ears! My God! Never in my entire life have I heard such a horrible composition!

Thankfully I managed to survive, then I hit 'New Game' and a real-time cinema cut-scene kicked in and that's when I discovered that this game looks as blocky as Mario 64; this is the Dreamcast for godsake! Time Stalkers has to be the ugliest game I have played on the Dreamcast, the main character looks like a crappy vampire and what's worst is his name: Sword!? It's not long before Sword starts speaking; he reads terrible, this game's dialog is as cheesy as one those small books for five-year-olds.

I should have turned the DC off and I should have sold the game back to the store, but being the huge RPG fan that I am, I kept playing. I went to the game's first dungeon and discovered that it is ridiculous to call these pointless mazes "dungeons." There is absolutely no challenge in these "dungeons" and worst they are all monotonous (they all look the same). The only thing you will find in these "dungeons" are battles which also become pointless because once you get out of a "dungeon" your progress goes back to zero, making battles worthless; this also makes battles repetitive since it takes awhile before you see new spells.

By this point in the game I started to ask myself questions: "Why are these dungeons so poorly designed, with no puzzles!?" This game heavily relies on dungeons, right? Then why are these mazes so boring!? How does Sega expects me to keep coming back time after time if have really no incentive to keep going?

Anyway, after I beat the second "dungeon", I discovered that the game had no plot! How can that be!? And Sega dares to call this an RPG!? It's ridiculous there is nothing good to this game, the music like I said is Sega Master quality (bad), the graphics look like they were put together in a couple of days, there is no originality in this game, in fact the whole game seems like a bad clone of Azure Dreams, which brings me to this question:

Why did Sega ever release this game?

The developers either did this game in two weeks or they were smoking something to not notice how bad and lame this game truly is.

There is nothing good to this game. If you ever go to a store to buy an RPG for Dreamcast, do yourself a favor, don't buy this thing. I call it a thing because this game doesn't belong in any genre, to call it an RPG is an insult to the genre, heck the whole game is an insult to the video game industry. That's how bad it is.

If you have read this review in workingdesigns.com you will see that I gave it a 0.0 but at the time I was incredibly angry now a couple of years have passed and I have been able to look back at the game with a less "anger" influenced perspective and I have new ratings for it. Fear not because they are not much Higher Sega was the one company who at one time, game for game was giving Squaresoft fits. In fact it’s almost safe to say that sega had never botched an RPG before this one. Thankfully they made up for this catastrophic mistake with the Magnificent all time great Skies of Arcadia.

Time Stalkers world of floating pieces is so bizarre and so senseless, that a solid story was needed to keep this thing together. But there was no solid story in other words no reason to play this garbage. You want a good dungeon crawler? Buy Azure Dreams. Good luck finding it though.

 

Gameplay: 1.0-A Cheap Rip Off of Azure Dreams. Sorry but venturing in dungeons that look exactly the same for 80 hours to battle monsters knowing that when I leave such dungeon my levels will restart back at 1, even though I will probably have to return to the dungeon again does not make for a compelling game experience. Especially when there is no plot to keep you going.

Graphics: 3.5-Looks marginally better than Mario 64. It’s incredible Sega delivered us this crap after the world had been revolutionized by the Legendary Ocarina of time.

Music: 0.5-That horrible intro music sets the stage for the entire uninspired game. As shown by Skies of Arcadia Sega has great music composers at their disposal, maybe since they could foresee that the game was crap they did not waste their talented composers on it.

Story: 1.0- The game has more writing on it than the original NES Zelda. Too bad the dialog reads like designed for five year olds kids, and the plot seems to have been designed to the mentally impaired by the mentally impaired. When you have a main Character whose name is Sword, and world made up of small pieces of Different eras, all of this with out a coherent historical back ground, you know you have a problem in the story department.

Addictiveness: 1.0-Chances are you will stop playing after you leave the first Dungeon and realize that the boring tedius time you spent on it was worhtless since your character’s progress was reset to Level 1.

Overall: 1.0-This officially holds the spot for the second WORST GAME EVER reviewed by yours truly Samuel Rivera. And that is no small feat as I have played many many bad RPGS but this one easily takes the award.

2003-2004 RicanSaiyan. All works here are copyrighted by their respective authors.